Embittered Single Females Sleepover
by defying3reason
Summary: The chicks in the Teen Titans stick together on Valentine's Days throughout several incarnations of the team until they unwittingly create a tradition.
1. Donna and Lilith

_Author's Notes/Minor Edit: Howdy all! Hailey Golden was kindly enough to call my attention to something in her review, and I'm making a tiny adjustment in the fic because of it. She called my attention to the fact that Lilith is a redhead, not a blond. I always mess that one up. I've got some random issues where her hair is arguably blond or strawberry blond, and since I mostly read her in my (black and white) Showcase volumes, I've kind of got a mental default of her as a blond, not a redhead. So I'm making that change. She also said that Donna and Lilith were never roommates, although I'm still pretty sure they were during that bizarre period in the late 60's/early 70s when everyone stopped using their powers and all adopted jumpsuit costumes. This fic is set during that period. So, to conclude this far too long and anal retentive bit of notes, I didn't mix up Lilith and Sharon Tracy. I forgot Sharon Tracy existed entirely, which is arguable worse -_

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* * *

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Donna emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam and a towel. She'd spent more time grooming than ever before, and frustratingly enough, she was still only half done. Something was clearly wrong with her American sisters if this was standard behavior for man's world.

"Lilith, are you home?" She called. "I need help!" She switched out her towel for a fluffy red bathrobe just as her roommate shuffled into the bedroom. "I-is something wrong?"

"No, why?" Lilith asked, amused.

"You look so…so…"

"Frumpy?"

"I was going to say different."

Lilith laughed. She was normally immaculately groomed, with stylistic eye makeup, her sleek strawberry blond hair styled, and her eccentric outfits accessorized accordingly. Today her hair was thrown back in a messy bun full of flyaways, she was wearing old sweats, and she blatantly hadn't bothered to remove the previous day's makeup if the smudges around her eyes were any indication.

"It's Valentine's Day," Lilith said simply.

"Oh. So you're required to alter your personal habits in some way? I'm going on a date with Roy tonight. Should I wear my gym clothes tonight?"

Lilith laughed again, shaking her head. "No sweetie, it's not a culture thing, it's personal. Today is Valentine's Day, which is for couples, and I am single once again so I've chosen to celebrate my bitterness instead of being consumed by it. I'm going to spend the day in my jammies eating ice cream and watching TV."

"Oh. If you're lonely, we can double. I'm sure Wally wouldn't mind coming along with us and being your date. What?"

"Oh honey, Wally wouldn't want to go on a double date with you. At least, not as _my _date."

"Why not? You two get along, don't you? It's not me, right? I thought Wally and I were friends…" She felt a little hurt, and must have been showing it because Lilith was quick to reassure her otherwise.

"No, no, that's not-of course you and Wally are friends…you know what, never mind. Forget I said anything. So you need help getting ready for your date, I assume?"

Donna nodded. "I'm getting better about how girls do things in man's world, but my last date actually was pretty embarrassing and I don't want to make another mistake." Donna went over to her dresser and grabbed a magazine. "Do you know what it is your people have against feminine body hair?" She handed the magazine to Lilith, and her eyebrows shot up her head. It was a porn mag, filled in with meticulous notes in Donna's neat handwriting. "I've noticed the same standards don't exist for men."

Lilith nodded. "Yeah, we've got a lot of double standards when it comes to beauty. I dunno why we're picky about hair, but I'm glad to be blond. What happened last date?"

"I didn't realize it was the custom to shave your armpits. Roy's aren't shaved, after all."

"Ah. Did he actually make a fuss about it?"

"He said it was grody," Donna mumbled. "So anyway, I shaved my legs and my underarms but, um…" Her face reddened. "Do I really have to…er…?" She pointed to a picture of a model with her legs spread wide, revealing a hairless crotch. Donna had circled it and covered it with question marks and frowny faces, along with the insightful comment 'Ouch'.

"Yeah, I really don't understand the prepubescent vag look," Lilith said with a scowl.

"The women in the magazines don't have any hair down there at all!"

"These aren't normal women though Donna. You'll be fine if you just trim the hedges a little. So you and Roy are going far enough for him to see bush?"

Donna's face was redder than Lilith had ever seen it. "Don't tell Wonder Woman."

"My lips are sealed. You should consider sealing your own."

"Huh?"

"Ah, never mind. What I was getting at is that maybe you should consider slowing things down. He's not making you uncomfortable, is he?"

Donna smiled. "Diana thinks Roy is taking advantage of me too. No, trust me, I like making out and…assorted related activities."

Lilith nodded approvingly. "Good for you. Although I still don't get what you see in the boy. He's cute and all, but…"

"We've been over this. I'm lucky enough to see a side of Roy that he doesn't let the other Titans glimpse."

"Lucky us. We get the arrogant shitwhale. And he does let you see plenty of that side too," Lilith reminded her. At least half of Donna's dates with Speedy ended with her coming home early in tears.

"Yes, well…he was on drugs," Donna said lamely. "And having a really hard time with his mentor, and thought he might be homeless and…" She stopped, as Lilith made the 'world's smallest violin' motion with her hand. "Look, everything's going to be fine. Now help me look hot."

Against her better judgment, Lilith complied, and by the time they finished Donna was pleasantly primped to contemporary American standards.

"Sweetie, you are smoking!"

Donna blinked. "Good?"

"Very."

"I still feel a little bad leaving you to eat ice cream alone. Are you sure you don't want us to find you a date?"

Lilith shook her head. "I promise you, I'm fine. Now if Harper does do something stupid, feel free to grab a pint of ice cream and join me."

"Thank you Lilith, but I'm sure my first Valentine's Day date is going to be…" She sighed dreamily, "perfect! Wish me luck!"

* * *

Lilith was halfway through her second chick flick when Donna stormed in. Her eyes were ringed with tears and smudged make up. She plopped down next to Lilith with a pint of Haagen Dazs. Lilith handed her a spoon.


	2. Donna and Lilith add a Kory

A few years later, Donna was vividly reminded of that first Valentine's Day disaster with a different roommate. Kory was flitting around the apartment getting ready for a dinner date with Dick, asking all sorts of questions about etiquette and behavior in American society.

It was funny, Donna thought, that she'd been so hung up on looks when she'd first acclimated to the new society, while Kory was focused on behavior. Kory couldn't be bothered with questions of appearance; she _knew_ she was beautiful, and if you didn't agree then that was your own problem.

Still though, looks and etiquette were capable of overlapping. "Um…where's Dick taking you again?" Donna asked, trying desperately to think of a nice way to say what needed to be said.

"I don't remember the name of the restaurant, why?" Kory asked.

"Did he say if it was formal or casual attire?" Donna tried again. Since Kory was wearing what amounted to a dishtowel's worth of fabric with stripper heels.

"Formal. Isn't this dress pretty?" Kory asked, doing a twirl. Then the time she'd spent on Earth caught up with her. "Oh. Too skimpy?"

"A smidge," Donna said, crinkling her nose a little as she spoke.

"Right. Well I'm learning. At least I caught myself in time. You Earth people are so modest!"

Donna laughed. "There's a definite culture shock when New York is too modest for you."

Kory went into her room to try a few more dresses, but even the ones with more fabric had completely inappropriate bust lines, and one of them was bare midriff. "Can I just borrow one of yours then?" Kory finally asked, exasperated.

"I don't think I have anything that works with your coloring," Donna said with a frown. She stepped into Kory's walk-in closet and started pulling out dresses, inspecting them carefully. "Here, this one's nice and the pale lavender really suits you."

"Thanks Donna!"

"So how are things going with the two of you? We haven't had a girl's night to play catch up for awhile now."

"Oh, you know, they're…going."

'Tensely,' Donna guessed. She winced sympathetically. As far as she could tell, all the problems the couple experienced stemmed from communication issues. Dick was going through a lot of personal drama, drama that he wanted to leave in Gotham when he was with the Titans. And Kory, ever the open and emotional concerned girlfriend, wanted to help him through it. In the process they had a lot of really hurtful blowups that could have been avoided if Dick spoke up a little more and Kory prodded and pried a little less.

"It doesn't matter though, tonight is going to be just perfect! I know it. I've been told several times now that Valentine's Day is for couples to celebrate their love, so he'll be completely romantic tonight without me having to remind him and I won't end up feeling naggy or needy," Kory insisted.

Something about the desperate gleam in her large green eyes made Donna fearful for her friend.

"That's enough about me though. Aren't you and Terry doing anything?" Kory asked, taking note of the fact that Donna was dressed casually.

She shook her head. "He's busy with work. We celebrated with a romantic dinner and a trip to the Symphony on Friday instead."

"Oh. Well that sounds nice."

And it conveniently left Donna open to emotionally support her friend, should she need it. But no, Donna was just being unnecessarily pessimistic, projecting the problems she used to have with Roy onto Kory and Dick's relationship. Really, these two were much better suited to each other and overall way happier…

But try as she might, she couldn't shake the feeling that the date wasn't going to go as dreamily as Kory was trying to convince herself it would. After pacing through her empty apartment for about twenty minutes, Donna got on the phone with Lilith to see if she wanted to get some junk food and rent some movies.

And when Kory came home literally glowing with rage, she was met with Ben and Jerries and a spoon.

"Trust me Kory, the ice cream will help," Lilith insisted. The fiery glow left Kory's skin and hair as soon as the spoon touched her mouth.

"Are all Earth men this stupid and emotionally stunted, or is it male behavior in general? I was sold into slavery when I was rather young, so I didn't get much of a chance to study the men of Tamaran," Kory snapped.

"Boys are dumb," Donna said. Lilith nodded her agreement.

"What about Terry?" Kory asked.

"Don't get me started. He's seriously blaming his issues with work on me, and as both of you know, I am the only reason he hasn't already gotten his unmotivated, lazy, daydreaming ass fired."

"What are you watching?" Kory asked, figuring it might be best to change the subject.

"Have you never seen Beaches?" Lilith asked brightly.


	3. Add in some Young Justice

Cissie shot Cassie a pointed look, inviting her friend to jump in anytime. Cassie opened her mouth, but all that came out was a breathy squeaking noise, so Cissie cast about wildly for something else to say to divert attention from her friend's quickly reddening face.

"So yeah, anyway, I think I'm going to buy up some discounted candy tomorrow and pig out." Why had she said that? Well, other than that it was the truth. She always headed out to various convenience stores with her mother the day after Valentine's Day for some Mother-Daughter binging.

"Oh. Sounds cool," Kon said, oblivious to Cassie's discomfort with the new conversation topic. "Yeah, I'd probably do that too, but, y'know. I never really hurt for candy on Valentine's Day." He flashed his dazzling smile, and Cissie wanted to punch him. She stopped herself, as she always did, with the reflection that she'd probably only break her hand on his half-Kryptonian jaw, and she certainly wouldn't clue the dense doofus in any.

"Oooh! Ooh-ooh-ooh! We should have a candy party! That would totally rule!" Bart chimed in, bouncing around several different spots in the headquarters as he spoke.

Kon considered it. "What would we do other than eat candy?"

"Play video games?" Bart suggested.

"Yeah, I'm down with that."

While the boys made their plans, Cissie grabbed Cassie's arm and dragged her from the room. "Will you just talk to him!"

"I talk to him!" Cassie shot back defensively. Cissie imitated the squeaking noise Cassie had just made. "Sometimes…"

"He's nothing to be intimidated over Cass. Making conversation's not even that hard. He's not exactly the brightest bulb, yanno?" Cissie tried again.

Cassie frowned. "There's no point. You heard him! A ton of girls send him candy and things on Valentine's Day. I'm sure he's getting lots of attention from girls way prettier than me."

"And a helluva lot less awesome," Cissie added. She squeezed Cassie's shoulder. "So what are your plans? Sit at home and mope?"

"Well it's better than going discount shopping with your psycho mother," Cassie teased back.

Cissie frowned, since the point was depressingly valid.

"Well…we could see what some of the other heroes are up to," Cassie suggested.

* * *

Donna eyed the two girls standing on her doorstep with some amusement. "Hi Cassie. What brings you and your friend by?"

"We, um, didn't want to, uh…"

"Spend Valentine's Day angsting over being single," Cissie cut in. "Well, I wasn't going to do that anyway, but this un's got a real problem with getting mopey over pretty-but-vapid jock types. We were just looking for company, um, if you weren't already busy?"

"Not _types_. Just one," Cassie said defensively.

Donna swung her door open wider as an invitation and the girls made their way into her living room. "Well, Arrowette's practically the same age I was when we started these things. But Cassie sweetie, you're a little young. I'm just going to have to call the girls and make sure it's okay."

"Make sure what's okay?" Cassie asked.

"Oh, you didn't already know? Of course you didn't. Who else would have told you?" Donna laughed. She then proceeded to explain the Valentine's Day sleepover parties that had become a tradition thanks to the havoc superheroing played with trying to have a romantic life. "So that's pretty much it. All the gal Titans or ex-Titans who are currently single get together, watch chick flicks, eat ice cream, and whine."

"I'm trying to figure out if I'm surprised or not that you guys do this," Cissie said thoughtfully. "I'm leaning towards not."

"Let me just call up the others and make sure it's okay to include Young Justice this year." Donna went off to make the required phone calls, and when it was deemed perfectly alright, the girls went out to buy their junk food and rent some movies.

And later that night, the older heroes corrupted the younger heroes' minds ever so slightly with tales of debauchery and innuendo. Cassie and Cissie were pretty sure they'd never look at Nightwing or Arsenal the same again.


	4. And a sprinkling of Outsiders

"What are they doing in there?" Gar mumbled to himself. He didn't see it coming when Vic whapped him upside the head. "Ouch! Wanna watch it with the freaky robot strength? You could have taken my head off!"

"Yeah, somehow I don't think I did much damage, what with your mouth still flapping. Quit spying on the girls Logan. Seriously, you're getting a little old for this. Some of the mentors have been complaining about you making the little girls nervous."

"It's fine, everyone knows I'm joking around," Gar insisted. Vic frowned at him, and he had the decency to look uncomfortable. "I'll tone it down. But this isn't me being a perv, I swear. I'm honestly really confused. Mia and Cassie came in with one of their friends earlier carrying shopping bags full of snacks, and they were all giggly. And they've been shut up in Cassie's room for hours."

"Uh huh." Vic didn't look particularly bothered by the conspiracy.

"And it's not just me they're shutting out! First Robin tried to ask them if they were up for a training exercise, and they shot him down, and then Conner and Bart tried to make a game of trying to get in, so Raven joined them and projected some spooky dark energy field around the room-"

"So the hyperactive teenage guys quit before you did?" Vic asked.

"Yeah, exactly. Hey, leave the jokes to me Vic. Seriously, you're only hurting yourself. Anyway, it gets weirder. So then suddenly the hangar started seeing some action, and get this? Donna and Kory showed up with those other chicks from the Outsiders, Grace and Thunder and Jade! I want to know what all those beautiful women are doing in there!" Gar whined. "Especially considering they're all in there without me!"

Vic rolled his eye and started walking away. "My money's on orgy."

Gar let out a pained squeaking noise. "You think so?"

"No. Leave it alone Logan."

"But-but-but-it's Valentine's Day! And all those gorgeous girls shouldn't be depriving themselves needlessly of the pleasure of a man's company when I'm so eager to help. Vic? C'mon buddy, talk to me."

"If you go in there, Grace is going to castrate you, Mia's going to use you for target practice, and then Donna's going to give you one of those looks that make you feel really, _really _bad about yourself."

Gar sighed. "It's times like this that make me wish the girls hadn't found my webcams."

"_What?_"

"Kidding, kidding!"

"Seriously Gar, Green Arrow, Arsenal, _and_ Wonder Woman are going to have you neutered if you keep this up. Damn, you'd think someone who spent so much of his free time in bird form would try to piss off the emotionally unstable archers a little less."

* * *

Meanwhile, the girls all toasted Lilith's memory with their ice cream pints before beginning the night's festivities.

"So you're all still cool with me and Grace attending even though we're, um…not single?" Anissa asked.

Donna smiled reassuringly. "We've been over this Anissa, it's fine. No one's uncomfortable with it."

"Actually, I'm jealous," Cassie pouted. She sat down heavily with her ice cream, a moody expression on her pretty face. "I wish I liked girls. Then I'd just marry Cissie and life would be easy."

Cissie winked at her. "Back atcha. I'd love to have you barefoot in my kitchen."

Kory blinked, startled. "I'd never realized that was an option." She looked around the room. "According to Earth standards, I'm much more sexually liberal than most people. I might like women! And then Nightwing couldn't jerk me around anymore and I would be happy. Alright, someone come with me into the bathroom and get naked. It's experimenting time!"

Grace started to move towards the exit, but Anissa grabbed her arm with a look of loathing fixed on Kory. Most of the girls were laughing.

"Maybe some other time Kory. I don't think giving up on men is really the solution though," Donna said with a smile. "Relationships are just…hard."

"Ain't it the truth?" Cassie sulked.

Cissie squeezed her shoulder. "Kon's just being dramatic. He'll wise up eventually."

"No he won't," Kory put in bitterly. "Even the smart boys are morons when it comes to how to treat women." That got her a half hearted ice cream salute from all present.

"Alright, what do we want to watch first?" Donna asked.

"Romeo and Juliet. I wanna see a happy couple die," Grace called out.

"Bridget Jones's Diary!"

"Mean Girls!"

"The Notebook!"


End file.
